What is it?

Was giving sometime to my own self now. Life has become a rat race. Hardly get time to devote to my own self or meditate or to reflect upon my real needs. Suddenly life has become so short. Time is running so fast. Things seem to be getting out of my hands. Emotions are puzzling me to the extent of madness. May be this is the time to forget everything else and introspect. Need to close my eyes to see what my inner self is seeking. What is it? The real ultimate aim. Where I want to go and what is it I am yearning to achieve in life. May be in the hustle and bustle of life, I am forgetting my real needs. Real needs of my inner self. Okay then I’ll move slowly on and find it out what is it I am really pining for.

Forbidden Tear

Can I come out?
I can’t hold myself in here
If you don’t want me to come out
Then don’t look at them
Don’t think of them
Your mystifying apathy
Will keep me here
And wait
Don’t let your eyes stir
Lest I should come out
And be lost into eternity
You don’t want me to come out
Then just hold me back
Within your heart, safe in your eye
Don’t blink, else
I’ll fall down
And be lost into eternity
I am…
I am your ‘Secret pain’
Your ‘Hidden fear’
Don’t let me part away
I am your ‘Forbidden Tear’.

My Heart is Racing on

I have become a part of a race. Now what name you would like to give to this race. Race of Life? Race of Success? Race of Dreams? Race of Desires? Race of umm whatever name you give it. But a Race is on. And my heart is racing on. Let me see where my race will lead me to. I hope that would be a much better place than what I have been living until now. I hope that would be a much better face of my life. Hopes are alwasy high. Race is always on. I am Hoping high and Racing on. Through ups and downs, through thick and thin, through good and bad, this race is on. This race is always on. This Race. My race, oh my heart is racing on.

I have awakened

I was in a long slumber. I got to wake up now. If not now then ‘Never’. I am shocked. I am perplexed. But the only good thing happened to me recently is that I have woken up. Now there will be no looking back. What all I can see is Reality, reality in its pure real self and not disillusioned reflections of my imagination. The shock was indeed deep. It was a sudden jolt to my inner motionless self. I was distracted. I was blind. But not any more. I did a mistake. And I am tormented. But the good thing about that is I have gotten a chance to recover from it. At least my mistake was not so grave that otherwise would have left me hopeless or dead. What if my mistake would have been so grave that there would be no second chance? As they say, intelligent people learn from other’s mistakes. But I am not one of such intelligent people for I learn only by my own mistakes and sometimes this is a heart wrecking process. But still there is a good thing happened about it and that good this is, it gave me a chance to recover. To be awaken. To undo my mistake. To learn and add on my experience. To be strong enough to face the real hard world. Ahh it took me so long to awaken. But the good thing again is that I have woken up. Woken up from my long slumber.

Me and My Mood Swings

Today I am feeling a bit perplexed. Not an odd thing with me. I am quite upset with my own mood swings. Talked to my sister last night about it. Wanted to keep a check on my extreme mood swings. So let's see how long I'll be able to keep a check on it. I try to strike a balance in many things happening around me. But it's not possible to have a full control over all the thing happening around us. So it would be better to keep a control on our ownself. Atleast our own mind, body and soul ought to be in our control if nothing else! Though it is always easy said than done. There are times, when we try our best and still find things going out of our control. And sometimes we lose control over our own mind, body and soul too. Ahh scary situation. I try to avoid such moments. When I try to strengthen my inner self and end up losing all control over myself. But then we can always try. As I am a firm believer in "keep trying". So one day or another we will be bound to get what we have been starving for. What's more today, sometimes I guess or may be almost all the time, I think over all the serious stuff that may sound boring too. But then, you can afford to sound boring sometimes provided no one else is making you bore! Okay then enough for the day, shall try to write more and keep exploring my own complex head.

Bye Bye 2008

Oh it’s time to say good bye to the Year 2008 and welcome 2009. It seems as one more ‘Blink and Miss Year’ is fading away. Or may be time just flies like that. But wait a sec, let me think over it and see how the Year 2008 had been for me. May be from Feb 08, I started listening to Western Music, it was something that I was not used to listen to before. And what a great surprise it turned out to be for me. After all Music is Music and Good Music always Rocks ! And I enrolled myself into a Management Course. Made a few nice friends, tried my luck in French and Western Music, was able to get out of a sad and sorry mental state, learnt to stay Happy and Move on and Rock on !!! And yes last but not the least, I had some great quality moments spent with my Family. I’v got to write so many things about this year but I am running short of time today. So this is a small Good Bye note for the Year 2008. It added one more glorious page in the book called ‘life’. And I’ll cherish every moment of it till death. Bye Bye 2008 !

Hello Sky

Hello, Hello Sky!
Bend a bit to listen to me
I want to touch your snowy wings
But it’s not within my reach
Why do you have to be so far away
It baffles me sometimes
But if you can just bend a bit
Just for once
For me to touch your snowy wings
Just by raising my tiny hands
Bend a bit to listen to me
I dream of you every night
and then,
Why do you have to be fazed away
When I open my eyes?
I try to search for you everyday
But you seem to have flown away
Far away…
It seems
You again ditched me.
But I can’t give it up.
I will try to reach you again.
One day,
You will be in my reach
and I’ll be touching your snowy wings
just by raising my tiny hands….

//These lines were written a few days ago, though not very polished ones, but then I am not a professional writer. This blog is meant for writing my all vague thoughts. So today when I read them, I decided to put them on the blog.