Moon's Murky Reflections

Going to get married

2011-08-23T09:05:00.000-07:00

how time flies, soon i will be a married woman ! yes, two months to go and i am all set to marry with a guy of my choice :). I have been away from my blog, as i had these major changes expected in life. life has been such, we can never predict what our future holds for us. I am a bit apprehensive, a bit doubtful about my would be life, but still determined to enter into that unknown world for me. People know, there is nothing much to be worried about, but for a single girl, this seems a lot of change. i wish i will be happily married girl everafter....

Need to overcome my fears !

2010-10-24T20:07:00.000-07:00

Hi, there are plenty of fears keep haunting me night and day. And i try so hard to overcome them unsuccessfully. If only i could find a way out to overcome such horrible fears lying deep down in my heart. but as they say, there is nothing we can't accomplish if we are determined. I am gonna work even harder from this point of my life and will surely overcome all of my fears one day. I always believe in never give up and i will never give up. I have a goal in life. I am not living aimless. So I must have to overcome my fears to reach out to my goals, my dreams. It's always good to have an aim in life and we must follow our heart to achieve our aim in life. The obstacles will be many and we must have to overcome all of them to be a winner in life !!

Want to learn something new everyday :)

2010-10-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

Today, it seems life has become monotonic. Same routine with no change or new activities. So, I took a long breath and thought what I can do to make my life a better and more enjoyable experience. I have always been very fascinated by showbiz. If I can do something in that, but what? Maybe I can begin with joining some dancing/music classes. Acting is not my cup of tea, but I love music and dance. I have to continue with the routine job also to afford the other things in life. We can still follow our heart and chase our dreams. At least we should give it a try and never miss any opportunity to follow your dreams. But if I give a thought of my daily routine, it is pretty obvious that I am missing out on many things. Need to concentrate more on the goals, but the goals seem hazy from here. Have not been able to decide on many things. And time is just flying away.

Long time !!

2010-09-28T02:51:00.000-07:00

So finally, have moved on and started learning quite a bit of modern corporate life !.. oh this is certainly not what I wanted ..:(... hate 'em ..well.. still a long way to go :). So what all I am doing nowadays..most of the time i keep myself busy, listen some good music and audio books (my newly found hobby), keep planning for future and sometimes feel in a very peculiar manner, just like the way i am feeling now !!

So what else, nothing special so far, just getting on with the new job and new people, still not satisfied..oh for that matter, i might never get satisfied, but keep longing for the better, as always :)..

Way to go... and i am just crawling on.. ah.. what to do..hmm need to move fast.. and fast and fast............and forget everything else :)

Cheers.. would keep writing more.. :)

Change for Good

2010-03-17T00:12:00.000-07:00

How human disposition goes through radical changes sometimes. Perhaps one of the most intricate subjects is Human psychology. No one rule will apply in common. Okay today I have resolved to challenge my faculties to the maximum. I, being an easy going girl, tend to avoid challenging ways. I always choose the easiest, fastest, safest way possible. Such a disposition might get credit for its super safely approach, but it blocks many less trodden ventures which could turn into revolutionary phenomenon. But to take a first step towards the ventures which are fraught with numerous unimagined risks, needs a lot of guts with one focused approach. There is nothing in this world that is unattainable. You only have to accumulate your enormous human capacities and determination, and you can achieve anything you dream of. As the time goes by, we tend to change. Change is the only constant thing in cosmos. Change is good. Change is inevitable. Change is life :)

Reality or what?

2010-03-10T21:47:00.000-08:00

It seems recent happenings have really influenced me deeply. Today, being in a rather composed self, have been able to come to this blog again after a long hiatus. It feels good to be back home. Yeah, this blog seems like a second home. Here I can pour out my heart freely. Because words keep flowing out and, my thoughts become clearer to me. A good way to reflect on one’s own recent past. Today though, a bit melancholy feeling is hovering somewhere back in my head, still I feel better to ponder over subtle issues which have been bothering me and for what I have not been able to find satisfying resolutions. A path, which is desired to be taken, goes out of sight suddenly and at that moment, I start feeling lost. Time passes away, a momentary jolt is felt and then, that desired path starts coming out of vague horizons again. Sometimes that feels like a mirage and the next moment, like an inescapable reality. Sometimes it becomes extremely difficult to perceive the difference between the two phenomenon. And I start feeling lost again. Here, I recollect a short story told by one of my friends, about a little butterfly, who when wakes up from her dreams, finds it difficult to perceive whether she was dreaming earlier or dreaming it now after waking up. Whether the reality is what we see or what we don’t see. Whether the reality is what we see during life or it is something we encounter after death. Oh it seems I have diverted the directions of my thoughts. Let me get back in the worldly sense again. Okay I have to clear two subjects on the coming Saturday, and then have to pass another important exam on 24th April, oh how can I forget to submit the project report to my college before the deadline, we are also planning to go on a shopping spree on Sunday, and did I forget to mention that I have to make a phone call to my best friend today…..my ‘things to do’ list seems endless. Is that what we refer to as ‘reality’ or it is something beyond our worldly senses? Well, I had better get back to work again before I start getting reminder calls. In the meantime, you all have a good time!

Clear Sky

2009-12-31T03:56:00.001-08:00

Where is that clear sky,
I used to watch as a small fry
Where have gone, those days
When I used to chase, sunny rays
My heart is crying out
Searching for a clear clout
By the blurring tip of a muzzle
Ain’t able to solve this puzzle
Where is my burning desire
Why I am not, on the fire
What made me so sullen suddenly
Things started scaring me stubbornly
Haunting me up and down
Daunting me, making me moan
Where have I lost my moments of joy
Sweetest dreams and fantasy’s toy
Losing my peace and solace smile
In pursuing my dreams all the while
Somewhere, lost my right tunes
In chasing those blasé boons
I wish to dream one more time
Without caring for any more dime
If only I get to that mystic reply
How to reach that clear sky
I used to watch as a small fry

Bye Bye 2009

2009-12-31T01:42:00.000-08:00

It’s time to say ‘Good bye’ to the Year 2009. Uhhh one whole year has passed again. Oh my goodness, it seems it passed in a split second. Well, okay let me recall how it had been for me. The beginning of this year was silky and cool. The mid of the year was full of excitements. I’ll cherish all the cheery memories of this wonderful year. The bad experiences were also encountered, but I will remember the good lessons I have learnt from them and all the bad memories will be vanished from my uber cool mind. The end was neither too good nor too bad, I would say it was rather dull, but that’s okay with me as I assume, all the time you can not be on Fire! Overall not a bad Year! Actually, my mind is so jam-packed right now that I am unable to recall all the things happened in this year. It’s always good to have your mind half empty so that you can absorb more knowledge. But uff, I am really not able to recall things properly. Okay let the past be a past and move on. Let us welcome ‘The Year 2010’. Wow I am already so excited about this beautiful new year. This is a year, which is going to be a turning point in my life. This is a kind of “do or die” year for me. As my studies will be finished, this year and then several new and exciting things are lined up to unfold. My family and I will again be on the two opposite directions! But let’s see who will win this cute battle this time. I love to look at life at its best. Life is beautiful. Love it, Enjoy it, Embrace it but never let it be wasted. Have an ever-wonderful year ahead!

Have a GOOD TIME

2009-11-19T01:22:00.000-08:00

Oh how much I want to forget this world, and want to dedicate myself to the goals I have set before me. How much I want to remind myself that I have to look at the “Bull’s eye” only and forget everything else. Still there are so many residues in my head, inspite of trying real hard, I have not been able to clear them up. Everyday, I plan and re-plan, but can not follow it quite well. Have already missed two deadlines of some trivial assignments, some short-term goals, but it has started bothering me now. It seems time is running faster than I, and even though I have been trying my level best to catch up it’s pace, I find myself failing miserably. Still hope is there! Can see my deadlines vividly, but find it very difficult to accomplish them. Ah, there is something still clinging in my head, and I have not been strong enough to get rid of it. Even if my conscious mind swears to having understood the clear reality, my unconscious mind has not been able to break itself free from those disturbing shadows of unwanted truths. I am unable to find out an answer, how to remove those complicated residues from my unconscious mind. Sometimes, I feel, may be ‘yoga’ is the answer. As it relaxes our mind, body & soul and helps us in forgetting the complexities of life, but somehow I am not very sure of this Art too. The best thing would be to let this ‘TIME’ pass tranquilly and then gradually my unconscious mind will forget all the nagging doubts. Ah, but there lies the hitch - the ‘TIME’, TIME is running very fast and I have to match its pace! Alright, whatever I say, but the correct answer, still remains - the “TIME”. Time will make me a better person and there is nothing in this world, which can not be healed by Time. So, I guess I have found my answer. Let me have a GOOD TIME now!

A drop in the ocean

2009-10-16T00:52:00.001-07:00

Who I am, Why do I exist. What’s the significance of my existence. Just one girl. One another person among the zillions of living people on mother earth. Same views, same aspirations. Then, why do I think that all the things should happen as per my will. May be, again a very common human nature. Moments will keep changing our preferences. Today what seems of great value, tomorrow can be a dime a dozen. Human nature is fickle. No, may be, because there is nothing constant in the cosmos, that’s why we human are so fickle minded. But, may be only our behavior gets changed, but not the ‘Real self’. We remain our own self throughout our life. Only our preferences, life style, likes, dislikes, tastes keep changing, as we move through the journey called life. Oh why I was writing this passage, ...yeah because I was feeling very ordinary, common and insubstantial today. And as human nature is, just wanted to pour out my vague thoughts on the blog. It’s my diary, btw, that is open to all. I am happy being myself. But still, today I was feeling very ordinary, a drop in the ocean. Just a drop… in the wide ocean.

I am more experienced now

2009-10-14T01:39:00.000-07:00

I am way too simple person. For I take things as they are being said or presented, when they are coming from a Friend. I mean how you can be skeptical when you are dealing with a friend. A Friend should behave like a friend. There can not be any third definition for a Friend. If a friend tells me something, then I would take the thing as it is. Either I would trust my friends or would not call them friends. But, now I have realized that, eyes can deceive. For the first time, I did not hear the sound advice of my Mind, and let myself get carried away by delusions. Because I was being fantasized by a Friend. Okay then, here comes the result – A Disastrous end of a Good Friendship.

Well for me, it was a good Friendship, which was the base for my trust, though I had never been fully convinced, but I did trust. I trusted because I was dealing with a Friend and I do trust my friends. Now either I call them my friends or I don’t trust them, as Friendship and Trust both go together.

Still, there is so much to learn from life. For sometime now, it seems as if my life is getting out of control. I have not been able to control things. Now, hopefully, things will be totally in control, as I have learnt the lesson. And every experience, good or bad, makes us a better person provided we take it positively. I, being the optimistic girl, take every thing positively. So, good news is that, now I am more experienced. Better luck next time!

Crucial Clarity

2009-09-03T00:21:00.000-07:00

How important it is to have clarity in our thought process. If we don’t know what we are supposed to do, then we shall always find ourselves in an everlasting dilemma. The thing has to be clear. Sometimes as the time goes by, unwanted shadows tend to swathe our clearing understanding. What’s the best way to overcome this? May be, we should talk and understand, and for Heaven’s sake, should get the clarity. For quite some time, I have been craving for the Clarity content in my life too. Today I guess have got some clarity (thank goodness). Now feeling actually better. And one more thing. You can not get this clarity by talking to any body, who has all the time in the world for you, but it can only be achieved when you contact with the correct concerned person. On top of that, you can manage to discuss the correct point. Oh my goodness there is so much confusion exist in this world that to get clarity sometimes becomes such a big deal. Anyways, I need to learn many things. The major problem with me is, unless I discuss my doubts with the concerned person, I am not ready to accept the facts. I mean I have made this such a big deal, that even if all the facts can be seen as clear as day, still I would not accept it until the concerned person agrees! Oh oh, not a good sign. But this is only with the Most Important & Sensitive issues. Ummm still there are certain things that we need to do on our own. If I can see and understand things, loud & clear, and still make it a point to discuss it with the concerned person, before accepting it, then may be I need to mend my ways. Or may be I want to judge the rightness of my understanding! Okay then, I’ll try to bring clarity in my life as always, so that no room is left for any Unwanted Shadows! I’ll keep trying. I am good in trying, no? :P

On a bad day

2009-08-24T01:29:00.000-07:00

Does beautiful time exist only in dreams. The time is not favorable. The people are harsh. The things are distasteful. Ah something is wrong somewhere. I am not feeling good from within. The light is fading. I am finding myself stuck in here. In the darkness. I am not able to see through. Mind is leaving me hopeless. Heart is beating too slow. Am I dying or having a nightmare. Oh all this is just not what I wanted. I am helpless. I am not in control. I am losing something. Something of great love and affection to me. Oh why ..why this is happening. Can someone just stop all this. Or let me close my eyes and never let them open. Do not want to see anything. Do not want to feel anything. Just want to evaporate. Just want to disappear in infinity. Want to merge into eternity. Want to forget everything. Oh I am so sad. I am not happy. I am …not…happy.

// I had saved this post on my PC. I don't remember when I wrote this but let me put it here, so that I know that there are times when I feel that way also :)

Any hope?

2009-08-24T01:17:00.000-07:00

Positive attitude. Look forward and move ahead. Emotions are fundamental essence, for anything to call a ‘Living Being’. Emotions hurt. Emotions delight. And emotions are uncontrollable. That is why they are dangerous. But there is no way escaping them. Okay then be it like that. Yeah I was talking about ‘Positive attitude’. Never give negative direction to your thought process. Anything happens on the earth, happens for the best. If only one learns to keep a check on the apprehensive emotional attitude, life will become enjoyable experience. We tend to think wrong first and ignore the bright aspect. Why? Are we over protective, and want to stay prepared for the worst outcomes? Or this is just in human nature to expect all the bad things first and then wait for the future to unfold. When shall we learn to live in the present moment? Why do we forget to enjoy the present moment. Why are we so concerned about future (which is capricious) and why do we moan over past (which is irreversible). We know these facts. And still we waste our present in worrying about future and past. What a waste. What a waste I said. No, nothing can change us. We human beings are just unpredictable. Any degree of human intelligence, can not change the way human behaves. We just think, ponder over myriad of things and then get back to our lazy, carefree self. Ah, it is sad. If only I could find a way to change certain things, I would be the happiest person. But I am the same person, the same person who I have been throughout my life. Is there any hope? Can we have a hope? Oh yeah, at least, we can have a Hope! (thank goodness)

Birthday Girl Has A Long Way To Go!

2009-08-05T01:28:00.000-07:00

It is my 25th birthday. And a good day to write something about me. How time flies. We tend to make many plans for our future, but what future holds for us, no one knows. Well this time around, I have taken some unusual decisions. I have decided something on the personal front, as I have always been concerned about my career, dreams, and blah blah, so this time I have taken some time out for my own self. I went on a date last Sunday for the first time. It was a total new and strange experience for me. To spend time with someone and try to understand him and understand my own self, was a good experience. I was nervous, but I wanted to have that new experience. So, I thought this time around I must go as time is slipping out of my hands and I need to have some experience too! I need to know things better and be more realistic rather than being caught in my weird imaginative world. My date was good and I had a very good time. Thank goodness, though I was hell nervous, things were still fine with both of us. Now how do I feel? Now I feel as if I can see through reality better, and if I have to decide something for my future then the same old logic still holds the truth. First, secure a well-established future and then other things can happen at the right time. Till then I want to gear up for the next challenges life keeps throwing at me. I hope I will be able to match the pace of time. And as they say, it’s always easy said than done, I do not want to speak only. I want to take actions and actions speak louder than words. I wish to take life more seriously and do my best to make it better for every body around. No more foolish decisions, no more imaginations! Just the Reality and my Life! Birthday Girl has a long way to Go !!

Going for the Good

2009-06-12T00:26:00.000-07:00

I will be away for 16 days from now. I would like to spend my time in re-organising my self. I would not carry any burdensome baggage from the past. And I would move on. I have a long way to go. As I have been fighting with my fate and this fight does not seem to be ending anytime soon. I believe in myself and know for certain that my world is far better than what it seems at times. I have got the ability to think positive and understand things better. I feel fortunate that I hardly make wrong decisions. I need to build a new confidence in me and certainly have to start taking life more seriously. I am a bit carefree girl. I hardly take things seriously and do something meaningful. But if I do not cure my ways then I will lag behind. I have to match the pace of my efforts with the time. In the next few days, I just want to forget everything but the real goal of my life. I do not want to get married and settle down just for the sake of it. I want to live a meaningful life. And of course, I want more freedom. Freedom lets a person be her self. I am yearning for a “safe freedom”. I have many things to do. And I want to judge how far I would reach. I have to go now. I will be back. Hopefully, with loads of happiness and enthusiasm next time, as that’s what I am known for.

Control yourself

2009-06-03T22:24:00.001-07:00

Sometimes even, I do not understand my mood swings. At this moment, I am full of excitement, joy and happiness and the next, I am sad, melancholic, and downhearted. I find this crazy. I find this out of my head. I just can not understand why I am so moved by my emotions. I am not that emotional type or at least I try not to be one (ehh God). Well my friends say, if I am in a good mood then I make the world more beautiful for everybody around. And if I am in a bad mood then, hell, I make the life hell for everybody around. But I do not like this. I want to keep control over my emotions. What would be the best way? Yoga? Meditation? Or some Dance / Music classes? May be I can just talk with my friends and feel better. But how can I find one idle friend to hear all my prattle. No no. I can’t do that with my friends. I should give them comfort and care rather than getting on their nerves ;). Then what else, may be I can just write down my thoughts here and feel better? Well, don’t know what would work best for my weird mood swings. But I got to keep control over my emotional, sensitive self. Let’s see to what extent I’ll get success.

Never Be an Emotional Fool

2009-06-03T01:43:00.000-07:00

I have been an emotional fool from the very beginning of my life. My kind of people are difficult to deal with sometimes. And they even do not know which way to go as they are so much engaged with their own thoughts that they can not see through reality. It becomes difficult to understand the very intrigue nature of human beings. And my kind of people make it even worse. But the one thing, which I have decided today, is that I will never become an emotional fool. Meaning thereby I will always put my logical and intellectual side first and lead my life accordingly. It is not bad to be emotional sometimes. But it is always better to keep a check over the emotions, so that we can see through reality as clear as day. And that way we can always be safe from being an emotional fool. I had to make a choice and I have made it. Never Be an Emotional Fool.

Learn to give, not to expect

2009-05-14T01:31:00.000-07:00

I want to learn to give and not to expect. Our expectations are the reasons of our miseries. Once learnt this unique way of living, can actually change our lives. Every time we meet someone, we develop certain expectations from them. We expect always high of our children, friends, peers and who not. We expect that life should give us more than what we deserve. Why don’t we look at the other side of the coin. What are we doing to them? Are we good in giving? Are we coming up to their expectations? Expectations. High and high expectations. We never look at our own self what are we giving to life? I want to learn to give and not to expect back anything. That’s the key to live a meaningful fulfilling congenial life. When we give a little peace of joy to someone, we feel blissful too! And when we only expect the same joy coming from someone else then, it becomes subjective. This is a tough lesson but by sheer determination, one can apply this in life. Will I be able to succeed? Can’t say. I try not to expect the best out of things happening around. But I do prepare myself for the worst. The mantra in my head was, “Expect the best, but Be prepared for the worst”. But how can one get prepared for the worst when one is expecting something best to happen? So either one should expect the worst and prepare for the same or vice versa. If we expect the worst then actually we are nurturing a Negative attitude within ourselves. And if we expect the Best then we find it difficult to prepare ourselves for the Worst. So what’s the solution? Well to my mind, I feel the better is “Not to expect”. But always be prepared to take on challenges life keeps throwing on us. Dream high but do not attach high expectation with them. Think positive but do not attach expectations with it. Do anything on earth but Do not attach Expectations with anything. Well that’s what I am feeling right now. Who knows what new lessons I learn tomorrow. One thing I would like to add here is, though we try to learn some simple rules to live better, but the fact is that we hardly can apply any hard and fast rules to ourselves. Human life is volatile, unpredictable, and full of surprises in every moment. So take every day as it comes. Okay now, so today I want to learn ‘To give & not to expect”!

A new way to look at life !

2009-05-11T00:52:00.000-07:00

A distracted mind. A lazy mood swing. Procrastination. Uff. Enough is enough now. Let me look at my life from a different perspective now. Let me get a lil mature now. No more baby innocence! Learn some maturity and get serious about life. Time is running ahead of me. And I do not know how to catch up with it. A bit slow but a steady endurance will surely pay one day. Oh let me judge how good I am in keeping a check on my own self, or keeping myself within the boundary, which calls for discipline and dedication. We tend to give in to our sinful urges most of the time. But let me exercise this new control over myself. Again there is no harm in experiment. And my mind is really good at that! I remember one incident, when my computer teacher cited an example of a boy, who had dedicated himself completely for his career. What I still remember is one line out of that chap’s very inspirational story is “He forgot the world and worked hard to achieve his goals”. I find this line very encouraging and a guiding force. Well, I do not really know that by forgetting the world would guarantee the success. But one thing is certainly guaranteed, that one does his best to make it. The outcome may turn out to be anything, but the satisfaction of doing our best makes us a winner in any case! So why not I exercise the same. Though it is always easy said than done, but at least I should give it a try. What say?

Me or my Life?

2009-03-27T04:59:00.001-07:00

I want to move beyond ups and downs of life. The life like a live wire will continue to push me up and down, but somehow, by virtue of my will power I want to move out of its traps. Beyond joys and melancholy. Beyond its extreme circumstances. Let’s see how far I shall succeed. It’s not easy. Really it’s not easy. I am a rather soft soul. Can hardly bear the rough side of life. But I’ll try to be neutral towards life. And will always be looking at the brighter side of life. Oh rather I should say that I’ll be partial towards life and keep looking at the brighter side of it. Because life is precious. And I do not want to waste my life in crying over things. Ha life is much more precious than wasting it over such things. I will enjoy my life and every moment of life. Hmm it’s my challenge to my life! I’ll love to see who wins, me or my life. Cheers !

A Reason for Celebration – ‘The Moments of Life’

2009-03-09T20:44:00.000-07:00

Okay we all know life is ‘One time opportunity’. Time once gone will never come back. Then why do we spend the precious moments of life in grudging over things on which we hardly have any control. Why do we seek reasons or excuses to celebrate a moment, a day or for that matter a specific occasion? This life is a precious gift given to us by the Almighty God. And we should make most out of it. Well according to me, we must celebrate Each and Every Moment of life. Instead of looking for an excuse to celebrate, we should make that very moment itself a “Reason” or an “Excuse” to celebrate. If we have been given this very moment, then it has to be appreciated and we must make the most out of it. Now the question is ‘How?’ We human beings are not standardized. We have our own moments of likes and dislikes, happiness and sadness, dreams and hopes, inspirations and expectations. And we have our own unique way to celebrate our own precious moments of life. Each and Every moment is precious as it is unrecoverable. Once gone it will never come again. And it’s up to us to decide how we want to spend our life, our own precious moments of life. Every one has ‘Problems’ and ‘Pleasures’ in one’s life. Now what makes us unique from others is our own decision to move towards ‘Problems’ or ‘Pleasures’. So, In spite of tons of problems and tensions in my life too, I have chosen to celebrate each and every Moment of my life. I will move towards “Pleasures’ to make the life more meaningful and beautiful for everyone around. What ‘P’ have you chosen, “Pleasure’ or ‘Problem”?

Hey come on tell me right away.

The real winner

2009-02-18T20:30:00.001-08:00

Times will keep changing. Good times. Bad times. Not so good or bad times. And then there are times when we do not know what to call them. The real winner is the one who does not get trapped in this. One who can always be the same person through all phases of life. My problem is that, like any other ordinary normal human being, I do get affected by ‘times’. There is an art lying beneath this phenomenon. Something is static. That specific static substance, we need to find out. That lies within us only. The extreme phases of our life trap us within them. We need to break our souls free from them. The real winner is the one who remains the same through all ups and downs and ‘all times’. Not an easy task but there is no bar in trying. Trying to attain this goal. I am trying. And will keep trying.

What is it?

2009-02-01T23:52:00.000-08:00

Was giving sometime to my own self now. Life has become a rat race. Hardly get time to devote to my own self or meditate or to reflect upon my real needs. Suddenly life has become so short. Time is running so fast. Things seem to be getting out of my hands. Emotions are puzzling me to the extent of madness. May be this is the time to forget everything else and introspect. Need to close my eyes to see what my inner self is seeking. What is it? The real ultimate aim. Where I want to go and what is it I am yearning to achieve in life. May be in the hustle and bustle of life, I am forgetting my real needs. Real needs of my inner self. Okay then I’ll move slowly on and find it out what is it I am really pining for.

Forbidden Tear

2009-01-21T20:00:00.000-08:00

Can I come out?
I can’t hold myself in here
If you don’t want me to come out
Then don’t look at them
Don’t think of them
Your mystifying apathy
Will keep me here
And wait
Don’t let your eyes stir
Lest I should come out
And be lost into eternity
You don’t want me to come out
Then just hold me back
Within your heart, safe in your eye
Don’t blink, else
I’ll fall down
And be lost into eternity
I am…
I am your ‘Secret pain’
Your ‘Hidden fear’
Don’t let me part away
I am your ‘Forbidden Tear’.

My Heart is Racing on

2009-01-19T20:10:00.000-08:00

I have become a part of a race. Now what name you would like to give to this race. Race of Life? Race of Success? Race of Dreams? Race of Desires? Race of umm whatever name you give it. But a Race is on. And my heart is racing on. Let me see where my race will lead me to. I hope that would be a much better place than what I have been living until now. I hope that would be a much better face of my life. Hopes are alwasy high. Race is always on. I am Hoping high and Racing on. Through ups and downs, through thick and thin, through good and bad, this race is on. This race is always on. This Race. My race, oh my heart is racing on.

I have awakened

2009-01-19T01:30:00.000-08:00

I was in a long slumber. I got to wake up now. If not now then ‘Never’. I am shocked. I am perplexed. But the only good thing happened to me recently is that I have woken up. Now there will be no looking back. What all I can see is Reality, reality in its pure real self and not disillusioned reflections of my imagination. The shock was indeed deep. It was a sudden jolt to my inner motionless self. I was distracted. I was blind. But not any more. I did a mistake. And I am tormented. But the good thing about that is I have gotten a chance to recover from it. At least my mistake was not so grave that otherwise would have left me hopeless or dead. What if my mistake would have been so grave that there would be no second chance? As they say, intelligent people learn from other’s mistakes. But I am not one of such intelligent people for I learn only by my own mistakes and sometimes this is a heart wrecking process. But still there is a good thing happened about it and that good this is, it gave me a chance to recover. To be awaken. To undo my mistake. To learn and add on my experience. To be strong enough to face the real hard world. Ahh it took me so long to awaken. But the good thing again is that I have woken up. Woken up from my long slumber.

Me and My Mood Swings

2009-01-06T20:39:00.000-08:00

Today I am feeling a bit perplexed. Not an odd thing with me. I am quite upset with my own mood swings. Talked to my sister last night about it. Wanted to keep a check on my extreme mood swings. So let's see how long I'll be able to keep a check on it. I try to strike a balance in many things happening around me. But it's not possible to have a full control over all the thing happening around us. So it would be better to keep a control on our ownself. Atleast our own mind, body and soul ought to be in our control if nothing else! Though it is always easy said than done. There are times, when we try our best and still find things going out of our control. And sometimes we lose control over our own mind, body and soul too. Ahh scary situation. I try to avoid such moments. When I try to strengthen my inner self and end up losing all control over myself. But then we can always try. As I am a firm believer in "keep trying". So one day or another we will be bound to get what we have been starving for. What's more today, sometimes I guess or may be almost all the time, I think over all the serious stuff that may sound boring too. But then, you can afford to sound boring sometimes provided no one else is making you bore! Okay then enough for the day, shall try to write more and keep exploring my own complex head.

Bye Bye 2008

2008-12-31T02:01:00.000-08:00

Oh it’s time to say good bye to the Year 2008 and welcome 2009. It seems as one more ‘Blink and Miss Year’ is fading away. Or may be time just flies like that. But wait a sec, let me think over it and see how the Year 2008 had been for me. May be from Feb 08, I started listening to Western Music, it was something that I was not used to listen to before. And what a great surprise it turned out to be for me. After all Music is Music and Good Music always Rocks ! And I enrolled myself into a Management Course. Made a few nice friends, tried my luck in French and Western Music, was able to get out of a sad and sorry mental state, learnt to stay Happy and Move on and Rock on !!! And yes last but not the least, I had some great quality moments spent with my Family. I’v got to write so many things about this year but I am running short of time today. So this is a small Good Bye note for the Year 2008. It added one more glorious page in the book called ‘life’. And I’ll cherish every moment of it till death. Bye Bye 2008 !

Hello Sky

2008-12-22T20:01:00.000-08:00

Hello, Hello Sky!
Bend a bit to listen to me
I want to touch your snowy wings
But it’s not within my reach
Why do you have to be so far away
It baffles me sometimes
But if you can just bend a bit
Just for once
For me to touch your snowy wings
Just by raising my tiny hands
Bend a bit to listen to me
I dream of you every night
and then,
Why do you have to be fazed away
When I open my eyes?
I try to search for you everyday
But you seem to have flown away
Far away…
It seems
You again ditched me.
But I can’t give it up.
I will try to reach you again.
One day,
You will be in my reach
and I’ll be touching your snowy wings
just by raising my tiny hands….

//These lines were written a few days ago, though not very polished ones, but then I am not a professional writer. This blog is meant for writing my all vague thoughts. So today when I read them, I decided to put them on the blog.

A New Sun Has Arisen

2008-09-25T21:49:00.000-07:00

Today a new sun has arisen from the fine lines of horizon. The sun rays are unusual today. The sun light is quite different. A unique calmness and a desired peace it is carrying in its radiant rays. I am feeling a bit surprised and a bit bewildered too. Where this new sun has arisen from? What hidden message this new sun wants to convey to me? Does it want to give me an unknown message to rejuvenate my dead dreams and hopes? Or does it want to show me a new way and a new outlook towards life? I want to know and my curiosity is springing up as its gleeful rays are falling on me. Hmm…there is something unusual and unique with the sun today. It was never like this before. It was never so enchanting. I have never felt its rays so soothing and composed before.

Yes it seems to me, “Today a new sun has arisen from the fine lines of horizon.”

la la la la la ..I wanna fly high high high .. lol

2008-08-02T04:24:00.000-07:00

Humm I have written so much serious stuff there in the blog. Lemme now write something that just hits my head. Well I wanted to write some very serious stuff lol but suddenly changed my mind. Whenever I feel like talking to somebody, and I don’t get anybody by my side, then I talk to my own self. As a matter of fact, most of the time I keep talking to my own self. I do want to make friends, but may be not very good at that Art. Did you know making friends is also an Art.. hum?

Oh about the title, yeah I was singing something..something that did not go beyond "la la la la la" hmm may be I just composed a tune, and yet to find lyrics for the tune, in the mean time my "la la la la la" will do good for me. .. ;) ..

And what about the thing of flying? ohh that..sometimes I feel as if I am a butterfly lol..so whenever I feel like a butterfly then I start singing "I wanna fly high high high" ..It could have been sung "I wanna fly..... (and as if suddenly I bumped into an old friend) ..Hi Hi Hi"..hmm not very funny though.. :P..

Okie now last thing if I really should post this on the blog? I mean I didn’t apply my mind on this blog, but whatever hit my mind I wrote. I wanted to write. I just wanted to say my mind. It was as simple as that. So here you are!

Let me try again

2008-07-28T23:04:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to do multiple tasks simultaneously for quite some time now, but may be I am not a genius to handle all the things like that. My mind gets engrossed in one thing that I do and then I can’t think of anything else. If I work on one project, then it occupies my full attention and I can’t think of working on another project simultaneously. I feel it is good that I can concentrate on one thing at a time. May be that’s why I can understand things quickly. But if I try to do several activities at one go then I just end up messing up all. In order to do things in a systematic way, leaving no room for mistakes and thereby failures, I must have to concentrate on one project at a time. I keep revising my time management, as it’s really important for me. I do value time a lot now and do not want to waste a single moment. So I keep working on my time management depending upon the circumstances and my own mental ability to handle them. After thinking really hard, I have come to a conclusion. I must have to forget everything and concentrate on the projects in my hands. These projects include my Job, MBA & English Literature. So let me just try again to follow the systematic route, as I keep distracting myself a lot. But I also keep trying to make the best use of every moment of my life and every single moment is precious to me. I ‘Hope’ & ‘Wish’ I will succeed.

Recognize Real World Complexities

2008-07-23T22:07:00.000-07:00

It will be good if I start live in reality and break my dream world. It is very important for us to understand the difference between Reality and Dreams, otherwise we end up becoming a loser at the end of the day. The definition of Reality and Dream is a different aspect and I do not want to touch that aspect at this time. I just want to understand that I must realize where I live, what I do is in the real world. At times I am just so lost in my dreams that I forget the real complexities of the real world facing me head on. Until I recognize those complexities, I can not overcome them. Today, somehow, as human mind keeps working all the time, even when we sleep, it keeps roaming to unknown dimensions, I realized that I can not afford to be indifferent towards the real problems. I need to understand and recognize them and then only I’ll be able to prepare myself to face them and ultimately overcome them.

Can we live like Robots? No.

2008-07-16T21:59:00.000-07:00

Okay if for the time being I forget the problems and as I have decided not let my self disturb because of anything, can I really get away with the human emotions? I do not think so, we can be very good organizers of our own lifestyle. We can put extreme pressure on ourselves to improve for the betterment of all, but we can not really get away with the very basic limitations of human beings. Human is emotional character. We can put up a rigid face just to hide our real feelings but we can not live a robotic life. We are humans and we are emotional and can not get away with the human limitations. I was trying to lead a robotic life for some time, but have realized no, it can’t be possible. I can not live a robotic life. Being a human being, I have got be affected by my surroundings and such things do affect me. Well that’s how life goes on, but may be I’ll never stop experimenting all the stuff, that will, I hope, make me a better human being.

Smoky Ashes

2008-07-04T01:14:00.000-07:00

I have always been a person who is more into present rather than past, and do not let myself indulge in my past memories. But may be our unconscious mind keeps a record of all the events of past and even if we do not want to disturb our present, these secretly kept memories in our unconscious mind keep creeping into our present. It’s been happening with me for quite some time now. Certain events or words or may be some unspoken lines, though I have moved on and embraced the life at its best now, keep penetrating through my head unintentionally. Today I felt really weird, why the hell these unspoken feelings, thoughts, and memories of my past still haunt me and erupt into my head like volcano. My conscious mind is not able to understand this and at times, becomes helpless in front of my unconscious mind. For me such intrigue memories of past are like smoky ashes. And I’ll never be able to know when these smoky murky reflections will disappear into unknown horizons and I’ll see the clear sky without any cloudy stumbling block of my past. I hope these smoky ashes will fade away one day. I can just hope so.

Drops of Dreamy Dew

2008-05-30T22:28:00.000-07:00

I opened my eyes,
Saw myriads of shining sallow pearls,
Surrounding me all around,
Mystified, I thought in empty,
Were those shining drops of morning dew?
Or they were illuminating tiny drops of dreams,
Dreams of the rising hopes?
Or of the fading memories,
Unable to understand,
I walked on to touch a pearl,
And the touch was so delicate and momentary,
Before I could realize,
It vanished like a drop of my dreamy dew.

It’s my first attempt in poem writing.

I Have To Fight With The Fate And Win.

2008-05-22T01:38:00.000-07:00

Was just thinking about the various problems one has to face in day to day life. But how can one get cowed down by such petty hindrances. If I can not handle such petty problems then I am good for nothing. And ha, I wanted to fight with my fate! How can a girl with so much confusion in her head, with such a low confidence in herself and with so many fears in her heart, can dream of fighting with her tough luck. But I have to fight with my fate. Fate. Something, I have never had faith in. I have always believed in Dreams. I believe in Desires. I believe in moving ahead, and suddenly this strange burning desire to fight with the Fate has risen in my heart. Can we really fight with something, that’s never been ‘An Existing Identity’ for us. But no matter whatever it is, I have to overcome it. May be we refer to our ‘disappointments and unpleasant outcomes’ as Fate sometimes, or we change our opinion of Fate according to the circumstances we are in. Okay whatever it is, I know what I have to do and that’s all what matters. I have to FIGHT with the FATE. And I have to WIN.

Two months of rigorous practice

2008-05-09T02:09:00.000-07:00

I had been wondering for few days, how to tell my seniors the decision I took for the crash course they had offered me some time back. My seniors had asked me to join a crash course, which I was not very keen to join. So I informed them my decision and promised them, what the crash course would teach me in two months, I would teach myself on my own. I took this decision because I knew that I could achieve the same skills by sheer hard work and practice on my own. Though, at the same time I did not want to sound over confident to them, but this was not over confidence and I was sure of that. What could make me perfect in the Art, was not the crash course but my sheer hard work and practice. And I did not want to let them take away the credit of my efforts, which I had been making for several years, in a matter of one and a half month. So, I decided to very politely decline the kind offer. Now I have got the opportunity to devote my all time on the career front. This time around it was not tough for me to explain to my folks at home, and they all respected my decision and supported me. So I will be terribly busy for the next two months at least. I must have to show them results in two months. But I love to take challenges, particularly in the Arts of Knowledge. And I shall keep updating myself on my blog!

A new Day A new Lesson !

2008-04-08T03:41:00.000-07:00

Hey! I am back. No, not for useless talk of course but I have decided to come to my blog and write whatever comes across my mind more often from now onwards. It will be a good way to express my thoughts and can always depend upon it whenever I need to review it in future. So, what’s new today? Well it will be an interesting idea if I find out at least one new interesting thing out of my busy routine life or learn something nice and interesting daily. A new day and a new thing to learn and share it with you. What an Idea! So what’s new today..humm may be every time I am asked this question, I start pondering over all the recent activities that has been keeping me busy for the day. So nothing else but only I thought today to come on this blog more often and try to write down my thoughts. I need to learn to clear my thoughts and turn my thoughts into reality. Well it’s a difficult thing to learn but what’s the harm in trying. And yeah today when I was surfing on net (though I had decided not to surf on net, but it was only for few minutes), suddenly a subdued desire to learn French language started to crave again in my heart. As a child, I have always been fascinated by this language. I was surfing a website based on learning various languages, and came across with some nice 'French' exercises, and I instantly got hooked. But yeah, I'll learn it later. For the time being, am learning a lot more essential things in life! I'll divulge on this later. :)

Dedicated Life

2008-04-07T01:41:00.001-07:00

I’ll have to lead a dedicated life, dedicated to my work, my studies and my career. I don’t have much time left. Two to three years down the line, I might be forced by my family to simply marry and settle down. But, I don’t want to simply marry and settle down, when I see myself standing nowhere. I do not want to merely Exist but Live. I can not afford to indulge my self in things which will take me nowhere. I must have to be determined and this has to be backed by my strong will power. It’s never too late. Whenever we realize the right way to go ahead, we must go for that then and there, without giving it a second thought. I’ll concentrate fully on my work and my studies. My family needs me, and I must have to look after them also. I’ll try to mend my ways to improve myself for the sake of my family’s happiness, because as they say, Family Comes First. So, no more useless talk with anybody, no more useless net surfing and no more useless distracting activities. And I wish my self Good Luck again!

A little dilemma

2008-04-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

Want to work hard, but somehow find myself caught in the dilemma of ‘should I give it a try or not’. And always tend to choose the easiest and most convenient way out. But that’s not what will make my dream come true. I am not looking for something which is easily available. For only rare things, which are not easily available, we make that extra effort. I am looking for something unusual, something unique. Something no one has ever thought of before. But, how I am going to get it when I always choose ‘the easiest way’. I’ll try to build the courage to go for the difficult option. Though it is difficult but if it gets me what I want then it’s worth doing. Lets see how it goes.

For what I was there..

2008-04-02T22:47:00.000-07:00

For the past two days, I had been spending all of my spare time on net on a website based on learning various languages. I was doing nothing but just meeting different people and replying to their enormous messages that they had been sending me with much effort. But, may be now its time to get back to my real goal. I wanted to brush up my communication skills, and that’s why I had joined that website. But I ended up finding my self engrossed in the various messages received and lost in replying to each of them. I was enjoying chatting with some of really interesting people out there. But, hell, what about my practice of language. This was indeed a very active and full of fun sort of website for practicing and improving various language skills. There is so much to do that no one can ever feel bored there. But, if I forget the real goal for what I joined that website then there is no point in spending my time there. So I have decided better stay away from the distracting things and concentrate on the various exercises available there to brush up my language skills. So I am back to my goal oriented self again. Good Luck !

In lazy summer afternoons

2008-03-29T02:39:00.000-07:00

In lazy summer afternoons, what a better way to spend your lethargic and drowsing time than writing a small blog. Today actually I got a good topic to be written here.

This morning when I was reading the newspaper, as I was going through some boring long article, a line suddenly struck my mind. It was said by some Japanese politician in political context. He said “if you can not stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”.

This line though sounds so simple, but it has a deep and very interesting meaning in it. I have learnt something vital out of it.

Yesterday, it was not a very good day for me. I was experiencing certain problems and obstacles and surely was not in a good mood. I could not sleep well last night because of those irritating problems, that must had been haunting me the whole night.

And this morning though I was not in a mood to go to my study room and study, but whatever be the situation, I make it sure that I won't let my studies suffer because of my mood swings. And when I was reading the article in the Newspaper, this line “if you can not stand the heat, get out of the kitchen” caught my attention.

Of course, I need to stand the heat or else I can simply give it all up, and stay at home, happily, safe, carefree, in cozy surroundings of my sweet home. But ha, I am not a person who believes in giving it up. If I have chosen to come out and follow my dreams then, I must have to be strong enough to fight back and move on and achieve the goals of my life. And what a line that is, it holds true with every aspect of life.

Good, today again this journey of my life has taught me something important. I’ll be back when I get something nice to write. Till then, enjoy the life!

Music is in my blood

2008-02-15T23:19:00.000-08:00

Well when I have nothing to do……I really want to groove into music. When I was a young girl, in my school, I used to be a movie buff and if songs would start interrupting the storyline, as it does happen in Indian Movies, I would get really mad at these songs. But now, ailaaa.. what a change!! Now I am not that much interested in the storyline, as I am in the songs and music.

Well while sitting in the office what I can afford to groove into is 'The Instrumental Music'. But I just love the music, tunes keep roaming in mind 24 X 7. May be I find the music so enchanting that I want to lose myself into it, forget the real hard world; forget the tension and burdensome responsibilities and blah blah blah.

So what else is rocking my world..lol..My work, studies, friends, music, personality development program and my own self !!!

Life is a "Bliss"

2008-02-02T05:05:00.000-08:00

You know suddenly I started feeling like I have learnt a vital lesson of life..and that lesson is to stay 'Happy' ....

I am really grateful to Almighty God who has taught me this lesson.. and would love if you all can learn the same and stay happy..

May be we all just don’t know why we stay tensed and grieved all the time. We all need to understand one thing that our life is precious and exclusive. Actually, It depends upon our outlook towards life .... .. It’s not our life which is a "Problem"..it’s our outlook towards life that makes it look like a "problem". If we start looking at the life as ‘Bliss’…. then its bound to become a "Bliss" and not a "Problem"...

So what I learnt from my experiences is that..It is our outlook towards life that makes all the difference....just look at life as "Bliss" and suddenly you will find yourself in a bliss !!!

Just don’t let the myriad difficulties, problems, obstacles, deceits of loved one, lies, non achievements of goals and blah blah blah....whatever 'not so good' things in life affect our outlook towards life...

Just be calm, compose, don’t lose your senses and believe you me..you will suddenly find all the solutions in time and life will again be a "Bliss".

Life full of colors and fun

2008-01-07T00:33:00.000-08:00

Life suddenly seems dull and colorless. Well this is also a face of life and I know better times are ahead. A time will come when my life will also become full of colors and fun. But what about today? What about this very moment? How do I fill colors in this very moment, which seems so dull to me today.

One way is to forget the problems and daily routine works and let myself loose in relaxation. Then a best therapy is Music that I like to go for most of the time. And of course writing my random thoughts in the blog also brings a lot of relaxation to my mind.

I have started writing this blog, not because I love writing but because I want to express my subdued expressions, which otherwise remain untouched deep in my heart. And I really feel relaxed after I write it all in the blog.

It is a kind of venting machine for me. So whenever I feel like venting out something that has been disturbing me since long, I simply can count on this blog.

I may sound bored, but that’s what I am feeling right now and obviously our moods get transpired in our writings also. But I am sure soon I will be back to my ‘happy go lucky’ mood and this life will again become full of colors and fun.

Keep trying

2008-01-04T22:11:00.000-08:00

Okies..so whats next..Sometimes i feel as if... do i write blogs in compulsion? Just for the sake of writing something? Humm..well may be not really...okay let me find out some good topic on which i would like to scratch my head and write something nice here.

Yeah..okay forget all the formalities and let me be the one who i am ...forget about the fake mask i show to this world..and let me be the most spontaneous and natural here..what say..

I tend to indulge my self in many useless activities…though i am trying hard to stay focused..but somehow i end up getting strayed always..

Well the life is all about keep making efforts ..the end result is something which is not in our control ..so whats in my control...i will do that..and that is …. keep trying...

What about keeping a diary for the New Year..?

2007-12-29T00:44:00.000-08:00

For the year 2008..I wanted to maintain a diary..humm then suddenly this idea struck my mind..what if I use my blog as my diary...well the only danger was...diary can get really personal at times and this blog is an open book for the entire world..gosh..

So..hmm..I finally decided..the real personal secrets can rest deep in my heart..and for anything else..this blog is good enough..

Yeah..for the upcoming year..i want to make some resolutions, as usual...

The first one will be ..Improvement of Over All Personality...(That includes a lot of hidden secrets..lol)..

then..will start some Post Graduation Course...

May be a lot more..but when the whole list gets clear in my mind..then only i come back and put them right here..on my own..blog..:)

What say...:)..?

My Aim..Dreams..Career..

2007-12-18T04:02:00.000-08:00

Well..the only thing which keeps me moving is my aim…dreams…career…ambitions..in life…

I am indeed a very ambitious girl..but at the same time very much grounded and rooted in my culture and values.

The one thing I hate most is…being poor..I cant live a poor life..but I cant stand a valueless… characterless rich life also.

Well as long as my ambitions ..my dreams are alive..my life will keep moving ahead..the day, I will give up..my life will end then and there !!!

On a good note that.. I will never give up…and one day will surely achieve what I have always dreamt of…I end this topic and wish…….Good Luck !!!!

Feeling cool..!!

2007-11-16T21:36:00.000-08:00

Okay today i wont put the title first..i will write first then let my lil mind decide what title should be put above...

Today, I am happy... (listening... Tum se hi...din hota hai..surmai sham .aati hai tum se hii...)..well its great..i have to achieve some goals in my life and i m so clear about them. No more burdensome baggage from the past. A new life with new hopes and aspirations. Oh God, I wish my life just get better from now onwards.

I have got a very sweet, innocent, pure, childlike heart..and always want to fill it with happiness, happiness which .... ohh..who is knocking at the door..hmmm not in a mood to cut this topic here..okay but i have to go ...

Never mind, I'll be back soon. so take care till then.

A new day of life

2007-11-12T21:05:00.000-08:00

Today I am more relaxed as if something very heavy has been released from my lil heart. I was scared of writing as I am only a beginner but now I really dont care for the criticism I would get or whatever from the readers. I am feeling nice and so the same is transforming in my writing.

At times, life seems as if it is out of control, it happens and the same was the situation with me yesterday. But today as if this new day has brought a lot of new aspirations for me and I am enjoying every moment of the present.

Life is short, time once gone will never come back. So I should make most of it and every moment should be felt like a golden moment of life. Yeah its true that at times life gets out of control, but the very moment you are back to normalcy, start enjoying each and every moment of your life. Oh is this called "Jiyo Jee Bhar Ke"?

hmm..seems so !!

Just like that..

2007-11-12T03:05:00.000-08:00

Today something happened with me..it was not like a normal day for me anymore..actually i wanted to talk to someone but i guess it was never meant to be..but then why do i feel so bad even if it was on net only..why dont i get enough strength to move on ..i mean after all i live in this real hard world ..i need to learn live that way only otherwise i will die..well everyone has to die one day but i meant i will die soon..;)..silly gal i m...

I used to think as if i m the most strong gal but now i m realising that i was so wrong.. i m not strong emotionally..well i m not good in writing but i guess m good in clearing my mind to you..so this lil writing is just for the sake of talking to you..as i want to speak up today..i cant bare the subdued feeling within me anymore....this is a good way..and who says that only expert writers can only write here..i m new, beginner but i will write ..whatever will come in my mind i will write here..this is going to be my diary from now onwards....

I guess its enough for the day...or i will start making u feel bored..or have i stareted it already..;)..

Happiest and Saddest Moments..

2007-09-04T23:57:00.000-07:00

Okay now if I m asked to share my happiest and saddest experiences in life..den…

The happiest one: My school days were the happiest days of my life. So shall share with you a few out of those golden days. It was a few years back when I was in 9th standard. On 15th Aug, India’s Independence Day celebration was going on in my school. And I won 2 prizes and was feeling so nice to get 2 prizes instead of 1 only... obviously on academic ground . First one was for getting 1st rank in class and the second one was for some "Beautiful Writing Contest" or something like that. And my best friend ….she was so jealous of me..lol..but sill she was and is still my best friend. And once there was a cricket match going on in my school. The special thing about that was …..it was being played by girls team and I was participating it. May be that was my first cricket match ever played in the school and it was only an amusement match. And guess what I played so well that the whole school stood up in my admirations. Ohh ..cant explain you I was feeling like a Queen. Oh my gosh, my seniors, juniors and my class mates ..they were all looking at me as if they have found someone so special in me. You know the whole school would know me as a “brilliant student” only but what they did not know was my hidden talent in sports. Wow sounds great na…when you get so much admirations from all.

So those were some happy experiences which I feel ..will always remain special in my heart.

The Saddest One: There are so many saddest moments too in my life. But I just don’t remember them. May be life is too short to be sad and grieved for the ‘no so good’ moments in life. I believe in “Live life to the fullest”. So normally I tend to forget saddest moments in life. But still as I have to write something I would say that once I went for an interview and couldn’t make it. That was, may be, my first interview and thought I was talented enough to make it that day but because of my lack of self confidence. I lost the opportunity. And I felt like hell later on. To be very frank there are so many other sad moments too. But I really don’t believe in “sad” part of life. I am more optimistic and I look forward to the best in life. So I’ll end this topic here with that note.

For you (reader) - My first attempt in writing.

2007-08-23T00:54:00.000-07:00

10.8.07 – 5:08 pm - I want to live in serenity, but I m forced to live in the concrete jungle.

20.8.07- 2:40 pm – Today I am getting excited ..you know why…because I am going to see a movie with my sister….‘Chak de Inida’…now what’s so exciting about that…..hun???...exciting…. well… this will be the first movie I will see in a Cinema Hall…..my first ever movie in a Cinema Hall.. doesn’t that sound exciting…. okay if not let me tell you that I have just celebrated my 23rd b’day on the 5th of Aug’ 07, that is in the very same month I am writing this blog. Notwithstanding with the age factor, won’t you get excited if you are going to see a movie out for the first time. Well no idea about you, but at this time I am indeed getting excited about my first venture in a Cinema Hall. Let’s see how this experience will be. Hope it’ll be good.

23.8.07- 1.24 pm – I wanted to wait for some more time to put my writings here for you, but as I am an impulsive creature, could not resist my self for any longer. So here you are. Well though there is hardly any possibility for getting some nice comments on this, but still would love to hear something form you. The fact that I don’t like to write much will always keep me away from you, but then there are moments, you just keep writing whatever comes in you mind, as if you are sitting by my side to hear all that. That feeling might fetch me here often. Let’s see.